Super Bowl w/o Family Jewel Cups?

Okay, this may be a touchy subject. Maybe I should re-phrase that. This could be a difficult subject to approach. No, that doesn't really work either. Okay - I'll just put it out there. Hey! Good segway!

I don't know if maybe it's because we got a new 73" Mitsubishi TV ( the same company that made Jerry's Famous Jumbo-Tron) Or maybe because I recently got a new pair prescription glasses. It seems I am noticing more ah - detail, than I usually do.

As a mother who had three sons play various sports, I know the importance of sports cups. You know, the kind that protects the family jewels. Well tonight I noticed that not all the players were wearing them tonight. As a matter of fact, I think most of them were not wearing one. What's up with that? Well nothing obviously. They were in the middle of playing an important game. But I mean, why weren't they wearing protection...you know for their private parts? I'm telling you, I noticed that the cups do something else. They afford a guy a bit more well, privacy. If you know what I mean. I'm not complaining. But I did find it interesting.

As a skinny girl growing up, I never thought it was quite fair that anyone can look at a girl, or young woman really, and tell if she is well endowed or not. You know - with boobs. I didn't really have much until I was in my twenties, after I had a child. My best friend got her God given allotment and maybe some of mine in the summer between fifth and sixth grade. And she's a natural blond. But I still love her all these years later.

Back to the story at hand, or within hand. With those tight football pants on, even with a jock strap with no cup you could clearly see ah, well how endowed each man is. Or not. Finally equality for women. Tonight it was our turn to see how well built different men are. Now I know why men think about sex every three seconds. It's hard not to when things are so well displayed. 

In my shock (and awe) I couldn't help but make a couple of remarks about it. My husband mumbled something about them not wearing as many pads as before either. Like thigh pads and how it related to one of the players injury and I think he said something else but I wasn't really paying attention. One of my sons said something about running faster without the cups on. I think it was one of my sons, but I don't know which one. I wasn't really paying attention.

Maybe it was the brightness and shine of those bright yellow pants, but without a cup those bulges, or lack there of *giggle* were very obvious. So women, if your husband wants a giant screen TV, let it happen. Of course you pretend like it's all for him and that you are willing to let him indulge himself. He'll think you're the best wife ever. But if you pay attention you'll see the advantages for yourself. And for those women just entering their forties that don't want to wear glasses for vanity reasons, you might want to change your minds.

Although the big game was played within miles of my house, my team wasn't in the game. It was a fun and exciting game. I really didn't care too much who won or lost. And now I'm glad. If it were my team out there I would definitely want them wearing all the protective gear they could. I mean if it were my team out there I would need to pay closer attention to the plays, right? I have to say though, this was a fascinating game. A real eye opener. Know what I'm sayin'?

**Disclaimer: This article was all intended as funny, if it was also informative that was just an extra benefit.