Saying Goodbye to 2011

And so it's time to say goodbye. What a strange year it's been for me. As a young girl, I always thought that by the time people were middle aged, they would pretty much have everything figured out. Boy, was I wrong. This year really showed me that.

At the beginning of the year, my oldest brother-in-law passed away, after a difficult battle with cancer. Because they live in Massachusetts and we live in Texas, I kept thinking he would beat the disease. My family that actually saw him near his death knew better, but I wanted to believe my big sister. She was desperate to believe that he would beat it, and she just seemed so sure, that I agreed with her.

They had met when she was just sixteen, and I was only four. He was a bigger than life type of person, loud and gregarious, Italian, Yankee. lol That's how I always saw him. I can't really remember life before Ronnie. I teased him about his accent, and he teased me because at the age of four, I couldn't say words with an "R" very well. The last time I spoke to him, he said, "See you later, kid." After all these years, he still called me kid. My sister took his death very hard, and so did I. It hit me way harder than I ever knew it would. Knowing how much it hurt her, made it even worse.

Just as I thought life was getting back to normal, my second oldest sister, a breast cancer survivor of 16 years, was told she had a brain tumor and had to have surgery. The brain surgery showed that it was not malignant, however there were complications with the operation and she had swelling and bleeding on her brain for a while. Once they had all that under control, she literally lost her memory. She had amnesia. We thought we might lose her too. I was terrified. Eventually, she did regain most of her memory, and she was just here visiting for the Christmas holidays. I can't quite put my finger on it, but something still seems different about her, besides the fact that her hair is so short. But I'm thrilled that she is still here.

I've also been so caught up in the woes of our country and the world in general, wars, politics, finances. My own mother almost lost her home to the mortgage company over a technicality with taxes and the laws of Texas vs the Federal laws. It was a long eight month battle, and she had to be rushed to the hospital twice with heart problems and high blood pressure. Unbelievably, she won in the end. I want to give a huge Thank You to George, aka, American View, for his concern and offers to help her.

Before this year, I was a writing fiend. I wrote manuscripts, novels, magazine articles and hubs, as much as possible. It all just flowed out of me so naturally, I Loved it. Now, I haven't written on my current manuscript in months, and I hardly write articles and hubs at all. I hope this is just temporary, I guess it's what they call writer's block. I feel very guilty about the fans that I know are waiting for the next novel in my trilogy.

I know how I want the story to end, and I can force myself to sit down and write it, but I don't think it's as good as when the story flows freely, so I don't want to have force it.

One thing I have really tried to learn this year is to TRY to live in the moment. You know what they say about the past is in the past and there's nothing you can do about it now, the future is not here yet, but today is like a gift and that's why they call it the present. I'm really learning how true that it. Living in the moment really is a gift - if you can learn how to. I think the prayer they say at AA is a great one too. I would quote it to you here, but I don't want to get it wrong. It's the one about having the courage to change the things you can, accept the things that you can't change and the wisdom to know the difference.

I also really count my blessings. Not the actual number of them, but the list goes on and on. I am SO grateful for my husband of 24 years. I'm still madly in love with him, and he can still make me blush. We have three wonderful sons, and each one of them is truly a Good person, and they are happy and healthy. My health is pretty good, especially compared to a lot of other people. And I still have a good sense of humor, most of the time.

No matter how you may view the Occupy Wall Street movements, I'm happy that at least it seems that now people are waking up and seeing that we are facing some huge problems in this country. For a long time, so many were just content to bury their heads in the sand and go with the flow. Hopefully now, we may really see things get better for a lot of the population. I have views that lean to the Left, and views that lean to the Right, but I can say that if I were a Republican, I would try to do away with debates. Although they have been fun to watch, lol.

So, Goodbye 2011, I'm kind of glad to see it go, and I look forward to the possibilities of 2012. I'm ready for a fresh start. How about you?

All the Best,

KT Banks